All of us want things. All of us have desires. Some may be yearnings we’ve held in our hearts for a very long time. We look around and see others getting what they want and wonder, what am I doing wrong? I’m doing my affirmations. I’m feeling grateful for what I have. I’m trying to be positive. Why isn’t anything happening?! What’s holding me apart from the things I want?
You know what gets in the way? Those pesky little things called beliefs!
We probably have more beliefs stuck in our subconscious craw than we thought possible. Beliefs that have formed from all we’ve lived from the time we were born. Those memories and experiences from our past have molded ideas and images of who we are and what we think is possible. Not only that, those suckers are calling the shots!
For instance, let’s say you really want a loving relationship. You’ve wanted it for a long time. In your head you think it’s possible because you feel you’re a good person, smart and attractive, you shower regularly, but deep down there’s trouble. You don’t really feel so lovable.
Maybe a parent ignored or abandoned you. Maybe you were mistreated or bullied when you were little. Maybe you were terribly betrayed early on by someone you loved. Those experiences formed a feeling and image in you of someone not worthy of love and commitment; of someone who gets rejected. This subconscious belief keeps you from attracting the devoted partner you want and deserve.
These deep beliefs function like a thermostat. When you turn on the air and set the temperature to 70, the thermostat begins to regulate the output. If it gets a little hot, it kicks in to cool the air. If it gets too cold, it kicks in to warm it up again. It’s always adjusting.
The same thing happens with us. We have an internal “thermostat” or “image” that regulates what we attract into our lives. If that thermostat is set to worthless, unlovable, irresponsible, reckless, that’s the range we’re working with. It doesn’t matter if we say we want love and wealth. It doesn’t matter if we try to remain positive. If we don’t really feel we deserve it or can get it in our subconscious, we won’t get far. Our thermostats will kick in and get us right back into our comfort zone. Thermostats don’t have opinions about where they’re set. They just do their job.
In order to change our set point, we have to take a look. We have to understand what’s happening beneath the surface and discover what our belief “thermostat” is set to. We have to unearth the images we’ve created of ourselves and see if they’re in conflict with what we consciously desire.
How? As always, awareness.
Here are 4 questions to ask yourself.
When you don’t get something you want, how do you explain it? What stories do you tell yourself and others? Is there a common theme? The stories we consistently tell about our lives are the very beliefs that keep us stuck where we are.
When you have a desire for something, how do you feel inside? Does it make you feel good? Does it feel upsetting? Does it feel uncomfortable? Does a negative voice bubble up? If it makes you feel bad, there’s a negative belief in there somewhere.
When you think about what you want, do you believe you can have it or achieve it? Do you expect it to happen? If not, why? Do you feel you’re not smart enough, savvy enough, strong enough, attractive enough? Is it someone else’s fault? Are circumstance against you? Again, why?
What are your results? Look around. Whatever you see, that’s what you believe. If you see lack, you have beliefs about lack. If you see abundance, you have beliefs about abundance. If there’s a disconnect between what you say you want and the results you’re getting, there’s a belief in there that’s causing conflict.
We have to get into the same frequency as the good things we seek. Our desires have to be in harmony with our beliefs. Those who get results have an image of themselves in their subconscious that aligns with what they want. They have beliefs that support their desires. They take what happens to them and they frame it in a way that upholds the image they choose for themselves.
The first step to attracting a new experience is to uncover what we deeply believe about ourselves and the world. When we get that out into the open where we can see it, we can then question whether those beliefs are true and if they’re serving us.
When we have knowledge and awareness, we can start to consciously create real, lasting change.